I go to the store to buy clothes for the kids. The experience goes something like this:

Kid: ooh! sparkly!
Me: Ooh! velvety soft
Both: LET’S GET IT!

Then the child wears the turquoise (or orange) velour sweatsuit with silver glittery trim everyday until the knees wear out. They have no clothes to go with it, because nothing on God’s earth will go with that unique shade. . .

I go online to order clothes for the children.

Me: ooh. .. I can get these chinos (what is a chino?) in canyon orange, heather gray, or black forest. Ok, black will go with everything. . .

Then I eagerly tear open the package in the mail to find. . . bright green pants.

I go and cringe in the corner for a year or so, twitching. Meanwhile, friends with children of all sizes shower me with hand-me-downs. They may fit, or not, but at least they coordinate with each other.

Yesterday we got too big boxes in the mail. I had taken the plunge to shop online again. It took at least a week to make my decisions. Most things I bought for my 7 year old were in the pink family. Coordination. I carefully measured every child, except the one taking a nap, and ordered according to the numbers. The napping child wore a 4 or 5, and I mixed and matched, according to availability.

The results: Oldest daughter happy. She loves presents.
Oldest son: “This shirt is horribly tacky.” “flannel pants: the shirt.” “I don’t think that will go with anything.” (meanwhile, I’m shrinking into the floor even as I assert to him that the new shirt will even go with the bright green pants of last year).

Middle daughters: giggling and thanking me profusely. Youngest daughter happily, proudly showing her father new white socks, so thrilled is she to finally be getting clothing of her own. (she is the hand me down queen, and never lacks for anything).

napping child: everything is too big– Just like most of the clothes he already owned. But he’ll grow into them? Well, not everything. I mean the canyon orange mesh polo looks like the sleeves may even be the right length, on the road to too short. . .