I remember talking to one of the most effective homeschooling mothers at my church. When I asked her why she made the decision to homeschool, she said that ‘God had her by the throat.’ I thought that was such a stark, harsh picture. It was nothing like the idyllic scene of sitting around together reading and writing sonnets while munching on freshly baked bread.

In reality, my decision to homeschool was closer to her description. I would call it conviction. I could make all the arguments in the world about how everyone can’t homeschool, and didn’t I owe something the underprivileged children that were still stuck in school (by my presence, by my trusting the schools with my own child? –what presumption!). But when it came down to it, I was convicted by Proverbs 22:6: Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

I could not escape the fact that a child is in school for more hours of a day than they are at home. And if they spend such a long period of time in school, they need time to decompress when they get home, so that would eat into your precious training time, if you choose to ‘stick their Christian/moral training in on the side.’

I was a good school mother! I was very active in the PTO. I was at the school almost every day. I knew what my child was expected to do, and I made sure she did it.

But–homeschooling? If I decided to homeschool my children, I could never lean back on ‘what are they teaching you?’ Because ‘they’ would be me. Talk about responsibility!

There is so much self doubt among homeschooling mothers. Am I doing the right thing? Will they learn what they’re supposed to? But I’m not qualified!

Moses told God he wasn’t qualified when God told him to lead his people out of Egypt. But then God gave him everything he needed to do the job.

He told us to train up our children in the way they should go. Wouldn’t the creator of the universe have all things at His disposal to help us?

Another convicting scripture for me is Joshua 1:8: This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. I read this in companion with Deut. 11:18-19 “You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.” You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. I stumble a lot trying to teach these children. I lose whole days sometimes, wandering around dazed and distracted. And diligently working through the Bible together is tough. There is definite resistance, and I always feel like maybe I’m not doing the right thing. But these scriptures bring me back to the right mind set. I would rather fall short of that mark than to succeed hitting a different mark.

There is a great mystery in my mind as to when my 2nd and 3rd children learned to read. Xay and I worked on phonics for two years, and his reading came along at a snail’s pace. Then when he was a 2nd grader we bought him his own Bible, which he devoured and he has been an excellent reader ever since. Imani is in 2nd grade now, and her reading has recently turned the corner. She also has her own Bible, which I assign her to read.

When I started homeschooling, I didn’t know what to do, but I read Proverbs 9:10: The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding. I think that is the key to the mystery of when they began to read. I need to remember that with my Kindergartener this year, too.

This post is part of Kimi Harris’ Hebrews 3:13 carnival. Be encouraged, and read encouragement from these other women.