Back from the Amish

23Feb2010 Filed under: Uncategorized Author: Angela

2/22/10:
The baby was screaming, again. She’s been hysterical since the whole diarrhea/rash issue cropped up a few days ago. Not that I’m unsympathetic; I’ve just had it, what with her waking me every 2 hours last night, and being very whiny and overwrought today. I put her down for bed, and she screamed like I’d beat her with a coat hanger. I tried to lay her down, and she bounced back up like a spring. It would have been funny if she hadn’t been screaming on the rawest edge of her voice and my nerves.

I crossed the room to turn off the light when I saw a pile of clean clothes on the floor. I gasped loudly; almost slowed the baby in her screaming. I muttered something about how I couldn’t believe. . ., and started putting the clothes away.

My husband has pressed the issue of the house by going Amish. That means no Internet, no TV, no video games until the house is clean. Period. It’s been a few days since the Edict. And I’ve been cleaning. To the point of my gasping fit during the baby’s screaming bout.

When my husband first forced the issue, I thought it was hopeless. I started thinking of ways I could pay bills and register for college without a computer. It’s a good thing I got over being scared of the phone! Just in time—phew! But I feel so backwards without Internet. And not to mention my poor neglected blogs, dwindling without my constant tweaking.

But there are more important matters, like removing cobwebs from my children’s minds. My husband mentioned, “How would you like to grow up in disorder? Do you have any idea of what that’s like?” All too well, unfortunately. I still get nightmare flashbacks to growing up in mess and confusion. I thought about how I was inflicting that on my children, and tears started streaming down my face while I cleaned up.

It usually gets emotional like that. I am instantly transformed to the helpless child. The child that didn’t believe you could actually get stains out of anything. The child who salivated over floor cleaning commercials. The child who couldn’t wait for her grandmother to visit, because then the house would actually get clean.

Growing up like that messes with your faith. It is hard to believe you can actually live differently. So I was so surprised when my son started organizing cleaning schedules and managing his younger siblings to clean the house. He was acting like he actually believed we could live differently. That gave me the confidence to move on and do what I needed to do. And when my friend noticed a difference in the dining room/classroom? I got the strength to tackle the little girls’ dress up box and closet.

And when my husband talks to me like getting the Internet back is just a matter of my doing something I can actually do, it gives me the courage to tackle OUR closet. Now, that takes courage.

Guess what? Once I got it clean, I noticed how ugly everything was. The adventure continues. . .

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5 Responses to “Back from the Amish”

Julie
February 24th, 2010 at 10:20 am

I hate to admit how much I can relate to this issue! I know the feeling of helplessness around cleaning. I live there, to a certain extent. There are several aspects to it.

There is the deep-down cleaning, which is always a weakness for me. If I could afford it, I’d hire someone for that part! Never seems to be time to get to that one. And I know that people do it regularly, so it must be possible. I, like you, don’t seem to believe that it can be done.

Another aspect is clutter control. Here, I feel that success is theoretically possible, if I lived alone. But I don’t, and the clutter just scatters itself like little ugly snowflakes over every surface. Having the kids home all day makes that one tougher, as there is no time to catch up before they set off more clutter bombs throughout the place. No tv adds to that too, as they are never zombied out passively for any length of time, but imaginatively spreading worlds of legos, stuffies, bits of cloth, papers, pencils, you name it, at all times and everywhere (although they do spend time reading, which creates occasional breaks).

And that brings us right to the last aspect of my inability to keep the place in order and clean: scheduling. I can’t seem to do it. And I can’t seem to get the kids into any kind of regular schedule either, beyond the dinner dishes. That is the real problem, I think. I agree too, that a big part of our job as parents is to teach the kids how to take care of a house and to clean and pick up after themselves. I am not doing them any favors by falling down on that job!
Mackey Roberson
February 25th, 2010 at 9:30 am

Sadly, I too confess to that fact that I too, could have written this post. Despite my best efforts, my house remains in a perpetually state of progressive cleaning. : ( I grew up in the house of parents who were/are compulsive hoarders. My goal in life was to grow up and actually SEE the baseboards in every room. As a single woman, this was not a problem. As a married Mother of seven, it has become quite a challenge. Dare I call it a war.A war that is waged daily in between phonics lessons, car rides to a fro, and meal preparation. And our house has had it’s sahre of edicts issued by both myself and the hubs. They last awhile and then something happens, that derails our system. ( Illness, or some other unforeseen emergency) I agree with Julie that this area too is a part of child training. I fear I am failing here at this. Despite my best efforts, I can’t seem to get this one right. I seem to have them ( my children) on a good system for the kitchen dishes and bath room ( albeit after a few strikes from cleaning and laundry) , these chores there are proficient at. Others like vaccumming, picking up the game room, thier rooms, not so much. Is this just my truth? Or might other home educating households share in this truthas well? Dear Lord, help me break this cycle.
Angela
February 27th, 2010 at 3:52 pm

Mackey, it is a tremendous challenge when you’re homeschooling, but I think homeschooling just magnifies the problem; it doesn’t create it. I wish I’d gotten a handle on the house before I had children, but that’s a story for another day. I also thought that more children I had, the more miraculously organized I’d become. That hasn’t happened either. The only thing that has worked is forcing myself to do it. I guess my husband found proper motivation!
This child training is kicking my butt - Team Gray!
March 1st, 2010 at 9:46 pm

[...] we went Amish. Training all the other children more diligently and intelligently became more of a [...]
Mackey Roberson
March 4th, 2010 at 10:05 am

I’m still chugging at it too. I feel discouraged at times and frustrated that I did not finish “the list” for the day. I believe you’re right about homeschooling adding to the mess. I look at friends who have immaculate homes. then I remember, their kids leave for 9-10 hrs a dady leaving them plenty of time to keep it tight around he house. I daily remind myself that I we are giving our children the best of us and our resources and our time. This is priceless. In the grand scope of things. As long as I chug at it and keep things realtively tidy, maybe I won’ have a kid show up on A&E in twenty years on an episode of “Hoarders”. ; ) Thanks for the encouragement!!