I was pumping and working on nursing Chanya when I read To Train Up A Child. I had thought I was reading it more for interest than anything else. It slowly convinced me of the value of training my children as a I read along.

But I didn’t have any intention in actually doing what it said.

Then my husband asked me if I was using it on the baby. And I had actually been subtly implementing some of the techniques in the book, I guess, and I blurted out that I was going to train the baby by the book.

Then all hell broke out. I found myself repeatedly tweeting, “listening to baby screaming. Baby who should be sleeping.” The daily crying was grating on my nerves. Surely I was doing something wrong.

And then something miraculous happened. I was able to put the baby down to sleep and she would put herself to sleep. I have NEVER had a child who could do that. I have always been the one to rock/nurse/stroke/sleep on the floor, etc. to get my child to go down.

The baby grew and she was friendly and confident to approach other young children, rather than this clingy, shy awkward creature like all the other children. There must be something to this child training, I thought.

Then we went Amish. Training all the other children more diligently and intelligently became more of a priority.

And I’m back to getting my butt kicked. The baby is knocking on 2 years old and is growing a will. She’s throwing multiple daily tantrums, and I’m starting to see a connection between the older kids and their disorder and the baby’s tantrums. I am finding myself having to be way firmer, yet calmer than I’ve ever been able to be. I struggle with my emotions, and I’m always second-guessing myself.

I’m looking for evidence that I’m doing the right thing. Where do you find encouragement to continue on a difficult path?