I like to take it to swim practice, so I have something to read while the big kids swim, and the little kids run around the gym.

I had already read the cover story, about Angela Bassett and Courtney Vance becoming the first-time parents of twins. I was disappointed that there were no pictures of the babies, but I respect their decision to not include those now.

The article that really caught my attention the other night was called “Tipping the Scales of Weight Loss Surgery.” Red flags went up everywhere. I thought somewhere I read the title, “is weight loss surgery for you?” I don’t know where that came from. The actual title was nowhere near as crass, but the spirit of the article–now that’s another thing.

I can’t help but make a correlation between ceasarian sections and weight loss surgery. Surgery is more invasive than traditional childbirth/weight loss. Surgery is more expensive than traditional childbirth/weight loss. Surgery is more easily scheduled than the natural alternative. The comparisons go on.

This age will go down in history as primitive and barbaric, where drastic invasive measures are taken to solve commonplace problems.

Last month, Ebony did the feature, “Lighten Up,” where they mention drinking water and moving to lose weight. ( I commented on that article in water and walking.)
This month, it’s this piece on surgical weight loss. What’s next? “Wiring your jaw shut will keep the pounds away,” or “Doctors find a way to medically monitor bulimia?”

That’s right. Create this culture of hopelessness, and then come riding in with the drastic solution of the day: surgery!

The Ebony article follows people with medical issues either in their families or their own lives, and how they have improved through surgery. Jesse Jackson jr. had surgery to correct his weight problems that caused sleep apnea. My jaw dropped.

Ma had had problems with breathing at night; My friend Fara had such bad apnea that she had to have surgery. But she and her husband and children are overweight. I didn’t know that apnea is associated with heart attack, stroke and high blood pressure.

Singer Patti Austin has had weight loss success from bariatric surgery. She says in the article that if you are obese and not ill, don’t take that for granted–it’s coming. I remember Eursla, my co Girls Scout leader had said years ago that the only thing she had going for her health-wise was her youth. Then, at 29, she was diagnosed with diabetes. That was a wake-up call. She lost a lot of weight behind that, and was nearly unrecognizable.

Ever hear of The Biggest Loser? I love that TV show. The first time I tuned it in last season, I saw someone I knew from UM. I met Pete through my junior year roommate, Andi. He was 6’5” and around 300 pounds then–definitely a big guy anyway, and he was on the fat side. By the time he got on The Biggest Loser, Pete was 400 pounds. He and his wife were unable to have children, and he recognized that the extra weight was killing him.

This show unmasks the deception that overweight people can’t exercise. The trainers on The Biggest Loser had these people running, lifting weights, climbing mountains, stair machines, you name it–for hours a day! The trainers also showed the contestants how to eat properly. They were tested with food challenges, as well as physical challenges every week.

Pete lost significant weight every week, and was eventually voted off because he threatened to win the show–by becoming the biggest loser. In the finale, Pete had lost more than 180 pounds, and in actuality was the biggest loser–just not the winner. He did win the also-ran top prize of $100,000.00, though, and praised God on TV.

Pete was unrecognizable at his new weight. Now you can see that he’s tall, and he’s back playing basketball again, something he loved doing in college–and he’s smaller now than he was then!

Suzy, one of the three finalists, said, when they started running, “You can’t make us run like this! Don’t you know we’re fat people?” That’s the kind of myth we need to de-bunk. Fat people can lose weight the same way that thin people can stay thin–by eating right and exercising hard.

The black folks I’ve talked to about losing weight have the same theme.

Those are the black folks who talk about fitness, but don’t do anything about it. There are others who don’t do either.

Of course, there are the zealots like myself, who talk about overdoing it, and being extreme. Tenicia, my aerobics instructor, for example, would talk about how she liked extreme spinning. We’d be standing up and sitting down on every other beat, cranking up the tension, etc. for a half hour, in beat to the music–planet rock, or something. We like to sit around and talk about how sore we are, and what a good workout we got.

But I’m not talking about those folks. I’m talking about the audience for this article I read in Ebony.

The article was called “Lighten Up,” and it was about diet and exercise for the black person. It said right in the article, “you need to drink more water.”

Back when I was getting my hair done once a month, my hairdresser would start in on how she needed to do something about her weight. “I need to drink more water,” she told me for five years. I was like, then drink. more. water.

Why are we talking about ‘I need to drink more water’ for 5 years? Why aren’t we just drinking more water?

So, I read that in Ebony, and I crack up.

Another tip they give is that you have to exercise. “All the dieting in the world won’t work if you don’t exercise as well.” So, I’m scanning the article for suggestions for working out.

It said to park farther away from your office and walk.

What?

And more of that take the stairs stuff.

Ok, so if I just drink more water and park my car farther away from where I’m going, and take the stairs, I’ll have no weight problem?

And they wonder why obesity is so epidemic among black women.

This is the most simplistic stupid thing I’ve ever heard. It takes hard work and diligence to lose weight, not just a simple, “I need to drink more water, and I need to work out more.”

My hairdresser found this out, as she recently went from talking about what she needed to do to actually doing it. She looks great–petite, size 6, just where she wanted to be. I asked her what she did.

She told me that she started working out regularly, with a trainer, and that she indeed started drinking more water, and she cut out her night-time eating. Aha! She’d identified that she was a night-time eater, and she cut that out. I also remember her taking stock of her diet, and getting rid of pasta, etc.

Kevin and Christie have lost a lot of weight by cutting out white food, exercising portion control, and working out regularly. It has been hard work, and continues to be hard work, but they got results.

Curtis and I have tried various different diets and fasting, and regular workouts to lose weight. It takes such diligence, and we fail when we forget the diligence, and think, ‘it doesn’t take all that.’

Yes, it does take all that, and (minus) a bag of chips.