Team Gray!

We’re all settling into our roles in the household. Curtis can take one small glance at the home and tell what needs to be done. He can then sit patiently in one room while telling all the children what to do. He does not bat an eye at having to tell them that they are not finished, and to go back until they are. Our older children can get the kitchen spotless because of his instruction, and Xay can shovel the driveway or mow the lawn to specification because of Curtis’ instruction.

I still marvel at how hands on, like I must demonstrate everything in order for learning to take place—that’s my role. The big ‘look at me!’ creature in the middle. Which is kinda my personality, so it works.

Yanni is a jr. Mother. She likes to stand behind me and bark orders at the others sometimes. She is less afraid to be mean than I am, so that works in her favor. She likes to cook, so she naturally takes the lead in all things baking, and nourishes us all with her cooking creations.

Xay is my personal shopper. He and I put heads together and strategize about what costs less and what is a better value. I feel like I’ve been doing math lessons when we emerge from the store. He’s lecturing me about how this thing costs 50 cents per unit, vs something else that costs 70 cents per unit, and I have to tell him that things have more than just monetary value.

Imani is the very independent ‘I can do it myself!’ person. Fortunately, at 7, her capability is catching up with her will. Now she is the gopher. I will send her to the basement (our overflow pantry) for canned goods in a second. Or freezer goods. Or tissues. Or water, etc. She usually gets more than I asked for and is very enthusiastic about it. She recently took over the Auspicious Job of separating the meat into individual freezer packet sizes when we go grocery shopping once a month. Once a dreaded chore by the reluctant older children, now it’s a special, exciting project headed up by Imani.

Joy is Imani’s assistant. I used to get the two of them mixed up, they are so close in age and often inseparable. Joy is in general more cheerful than Imani, and, at 5, less competent. She is becoming quite good at fetching things, however, she can make her own lunch, and she has a much better eye for detail than Imani, meaning she is good for finding things(!)—someone I have always needed in my life!

Esteban is 3. That age where independence and babyhood compete for prominence all the time. He is starting to be dependable enough for very small tasks, and he is able to help his two slightly older sisters do their chores. He is very amiable, and if he can keep his mind on task, you are happy to have him on the job.

I am currently trying to plan our family reunion. This is more like a big clan from my father’s side of the family, with people all over the country. I find the prospect terrifying, but then I put team Gray on the job yesterday. I gave the general logo idea to Yanni to develop. She has great graphic artistic skills and was happy to tackle the problem. I had to do some price checking, and didn’t know where to start. Xay suggested we go to the Sam’s Club website to check out prices of various food items we would need for the weekend. (This was after he brainstormed all the food we would need with me). Imani sat as near the computer as possible to weigh in on various items we might need, and she offered suggestions about activities at the picnic.

Sharing the job with the various family members made it all seem so much more doable! I am grateful for all the folks in this household.

Say it loud, I’m 41 and. . . um. . . that’s cool?

I wouldn’t exactly say I’m proud to be 41, but you know, considering the alternative, bring it on. It’s my birthday, and I’ve found that so far it has been way better than most Mondays around here. I don’t have to run around as much, and don’t have to feel guilty about not doing much school. Imani and I did math, and I called it a day. Yanni and Xay had class, and I dropped them off and picked them up. I gave Curtis the car after picking up Yanni, and that was good, too.

Just a bunch of rambling details to say it was just like any other Monday, except better. With presents! And well wishes from wonderful friends. And a promise of something decadent and chocolate for dessert after going out to dinner somewhere we’ve never been before. And we’re skipping basketball!!!! So, all in all, it’s a good day.

I remember talking to one of the most effective homeschooling mothers at my church. When I asked her why she made the decision to homeschool, she said that ‘God had her by the throat.’ I thought that was such a stark, harsh picture. It was nothing like the idyllic scene of sitting around together reading and writing sonnets while munching on freshly baked bread.

In reality, my decision to homeschool was closer to her description. I would call it conviction. I could make all the arguments in the world about how everyone can’t homeschool, and didn’t I owe something the underprivileged children that were still stuck in school (by my presence, by my trusting the schools with my own child? –what presumption!). But when it came down to it, I was convicted by Proverbs 22:6: Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

I could not escape the fact that a child is in school for more hours of a day than they are at home. And if they spend such a long period of time in school, they need time to decompress when they get home, so that would eat into your precious training time, if you choose to ‘stick their Christian/moral training in on the side.’

I was a good school mother! I was very active in the PTO. I was at the school almost every day. I knew what my child was expected to do, and I made sure she did it.

But–homeschooling? If I decided to homeschool my children, I could never lean back on ‘what are they teaching you?’ Because ‘they’ would be me. Talk about responsibility!

There is so much self doubt among homeschooling mothers. Am I doing the right thing? Will they learn what they’re supposed to? But I’m not qualified!

Moses told God he wasn’t qualified when God told him to lead his people out of Egypt. But then God gave him everything he needed to do the job.

He told us to train up our children in the way they should go. Wouldn’t the creator of the universe have all things at His disposal to help us?

Another convicting scripture for me is Joshua 1:8: This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. I read this in companion with Deut. 11:18-19 “You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.” You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. I stumble a lot trying to teach these children. I lose whole days sometimes, wandering around dazed and distracted. And diligently working through the Bible together is tough. There is definite resistance, and I always feel like maybe I’m not doing the right thing. But these scriptures bring me back to the right mind set. I would rather fall short of that mark than to succeed hitting a different mark.

There is a great mystery in my mind as to when my 2nd and 3rd children learned to read. Xay and I worked on phonics for two years, and his reading came along at a snail’s pace. Then when he was a 2nd grader we bought him his own Bible, which he devoured and he has been an excellent reader ever since. Imani is in 2nd grade now, and her reading has recently turned the corner. She also has her own Bible, which I assign her to read.

When I started homeschooling, I didn’t know what to do, but I read Proverbs 9:10: The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding. I think that is the key to the mystery of when they began to read. I need to remember that with my Kindergartener this year, too.

This post is part of Kimi Harris’ Hebrews 3:13 carnival. Be encouraged, and read encouragement from these other women.