Team Gray!

First, I want to apologize for the lack of posts lately. Our network was down for a few days, and when it came back up, I was not sure that this article was ready. I’m still not sure, but I need to post, and it’s what’s been on my mind. I think I smell a recurring theme. . .

I had to fire a book recently. I have been really interested in the Gilbreth family lately. They were the (turn of the century) real family featured in the book, Cheaper By the Dozen. The movie with Steve Martin does not do the original justice at all. I highly recommend the book by Frank Bunker Gilbreth Jr. and his sister Ernestine Gilbreth Carey. I liked it so much that I hunted down the sequel, Belles on Their Toes, and read that as well. Cheaper by the Dozen is more a tribute to the father of the family of 12. He was larger than life, and as a pioneer of motion study, he used some of those techniques to keep his household running smoothly.

Belles on their Toes is more the mother’s story. It tells how she managed to keep the family running after the loss of her husband. I was so captivated by these two books, that I looked for more books in the library by and/or about this fascinating families. I found Time Out For Happiness, written by Frank Jr. alone, and it told some of the behind the scenes stories of his family, whereas the other two books are more anecdotal.

Sadly, that was the last book written by the Gilbreths that I was able to find in the library. Then I stumbled upon a book about Lillian Gilbreth, the mother of the twelve children. Making Time, by Jane Lancaster, originally caught my eye because of its subtitle, life beyond Cheaper by the Dozen. I also liked the fact that it has photographs in it. You come to know these people from their memoirs, and it’s nice to put a face to the word picture.

Then I started reading the book, and I had to fire it. It is written with such a feminist slant, I find it unreadable. The thing that most struck me about Lillian Gilbreth from the books written by her family is how supportive she was of her husband and his legacy. She could see where he could stand out in the brand new field of motion study, and how they together could face the competition and feud they had with the other main proponents of that field.

But Lancaster’s book downplays that whole relationship and says that Lillian had ambitions of her own, and even though she was all hemmed in by society’s expectations, and her husband’s demands, she was still smart enough to triumph as an ambitious career woman.

I say, what a load of bull! Because her own ambitions would have led her into English literature, or maybe psychology, but certainly not engineering, which was the path her husband was on.

If I had a nickel for every fight I’ve had with my husband because of some feminist ideal, I could pay off the house, buy a new car, and get our family completely out of debt.

What impressed me about Lillian Gilbreth was how, upon her engagement to be married, she read all the manuals her husband had written for his company, and she learned his business. Then, she went further, to see what improvements could be made.

That blew my mind, because I have been struggling with what Curtis’ business has to do with me. She wasn’t even married yet, and she got it. I’ve been all about my thing, and his thing. Living together as separate, hostile entities. How far ahead we would have been had I taken Lillian Gilbreth’s approach!

And, I submit, that is the fruit of feminism: division in the home, strife, disorder. It is the reason the divorce rate has skyrocketed. Somewhere along the line, men and women stopped acting like a team, and started acting like adversaries. Yet we still have these insane notions to marry and procreate. That adversarial relationship doesn’t lend itself to a peaceful home. I’m not a comic book fan, but for the sake of illustration, can you imagine Batman marrying Cat Woman? What would be the point? There’s only so far the opposites attract thing can carry you.

Frank and Lillian Gilbreth agreed with each other. They sat down on their wedding day and mapped out their lives together, including a plan to have 12 children. In Making Time, Lancaster hints the couple had so many children because of an inability to talk about birth control. So why did they stop after the twelfth child was born? Even after Frank Gilbreth became deathly ill during World War I., weakening his heart to the point where it was evident he would die soon, Lillian thought they could still accomplish their goal of twelve children. I call that team work to the extreme.

Their agreement carried over to the family business as well. Lillian spent every confinement proofing and editing books to further the Gilbreth method of ‘The One Best Way.’ Together, they not only provided for their large family, but they created a legacy. After Frank’s death, Lillian continued to grow the company, and went on to put eleven children through college. Their second born, Mary, had died of diphtheria as a child.

As a reward for her teamwork, loyalty, and agreement, Lillian Gilbreth got the undying devotion and loyalty of her children. She also had great renown; she was friends with the Hoovers, worked with Eleanor Roosevelt, and was honored by various Universities with honorary degrees. She was accepted in engineering societies, and was a professor at Purdue University for many years. She lived a long life, and was blessed with many grandchildren as well.

I think her example is one I’d follow.

We had a vacation this past weekend. We went to visit our friends that moved to Wisconsin last fall. When they came to visit on Father’s Day weekend, they had invited us to drop in on them, and soon.

So, with great prying, we were able to discern that it was about a 6 hour car trip, not including Chicago traffic. We figured that would add 2 or 3 hours to whole trip. 18 hours in the car: not the best way to spend a weekend off.

Then Curtis found out about ferries across Lake Michigan. There was one high speed one that would get us there in about 3 hours, and another that would take 4 hours. After much research, he found the S.S. Badger. This was like a cruise ship for a short trip.

The kids and I gawked as we watched the giant semi-truck back onto the cargo hold. The ship was originally built for hauling freight cars, so it had no problem with all the RVs, mini-vans, and even semi-trucks.

On the trip over, we saw quite a few Amish people. They are always so fascinating, I struggled not to stare. Imagine my surprise when, at the end of the trip, I saw them gawking and staring at my girls playing hand-clapping games.

Curtis got us a state room to store our belongings, and I was able to take a short nap in there while the babies climbed over me looking out the window. Curtis watched a movie on the way there, and I watched a different one on the way back. Xay played in the game room, and the little kids enjoyed the play room. Yanni took in the fresh air and worked on her drawing in solitude.

When we got to Wisconsin, we were rested enough to finish our trip easily; the same thing with the return voyage. It really kicked our vacation fun factor up; I’d highly recommend it.

Does a wet driveway count? That’s what I was greeted to this morning. Pardon my enthusiasm, but I am beyond thrilled to look out the window and see a lush, beautiful yard. This is quite a distance from the ugliest yard in the neighborhood status we had even as recently as this spring.

In other news, I really shouldn’t be writing now. I am just blinded by apprehension of planning a weekend getaway. By planning, I mean, packing, because Curtis did does all the planning. I instead panic about things like laundry and will I forget something important, and what’s the most efficient way to get 7 people’s worth of stuff in suitcases, plus a reasonable amount of kid activities. . .